JULY 20 | Wednesday
Good morning my babies! SO. Today we are moving to the right side of the moon maps and will begin our 2 weeks of inward focus that will move us ahead better in life THROUGH what we face at this time.
We begin this doorway by thinking about our wounds and how we communicate in certain ways BECAUSE of what we have seen and are afraid of seeing again. Expect to see others doing what you no longer want to do and to make connections around your level of inner value being what you most talk about or how you predict what next will be. This time wants to get you seeing that you are more in control than you thought and that you are a life change away THROUGH how you want to talk about what did you wrong in life.
I was talking to someone about how when we are younger, we are super aware of how things feel to us and how others affect us. And the older you get, the wider that circle grows where you are VERY aware of your impact and how it ripples down to those around you. This time is similar in showing you that we grow better and that we need to be patient with the healing journey because it will always be that in our 20s, we mostly see ourselves -- and in our 50s, we can't help but see what is going on with everything around us.
This boundary is put into place so that we CAN learn the selfish path of me first, where we complain about what others do, when we also are doing the same. But where that life lesson eventually trips up on itself and then we awaken with a thud to seeing how we have made selfish decisions that cut others out but that we didn’t even really see we were doing it. I was remembering how I used to have a treadmill in my apartment in my early 20s and would just get on it at any time and not even think about people below me sleeping. It 100% was not in my awareness to see how my actions affected others. I only saw that I wanted to do this exercise and that was all that my vision was focused on. It was only decades later that I was like, oh my gosh! How could it not have even hit me to think about how that noise would affect others?
In our journey, we see things clear as day when we travel down the road a ways, but while in these situations, they are impossible for us to see what we are doing until we get some distance. So don’t talk dark spirited about what you chose for in your past that ultimately was groomed for you to follow because of what wounded you. Don’t hate on yourself because you were unconscious when you thought you were conscious. Don’t belittle your choices because you would make hella better moves now than you did years ago. Don’t look at losing it all or falling off the cliff as anything other than a storyline in your life that brings you to needing to step up and use your voice in new ways where you value your existence and keep at the goals until something acceptable produces.
This time wants you planting the garden seeds and keeping at them through whatever process -- but where your goal is seeing that you have accomplished a great undertaking that you could not have done in your past. See that you needed your past to be as it was in order to become as wise as you are now. And you need the mistakes you make today, that you think are okay, that in the future you will see you would do another way. What matters is that RIGHT NOW you choose for what values you. But honor that it LIKELY will be something that teaches you that you deserve better in your future. Allow the mysterious game of life to move you to new views, but don’t think you are such the boss to understand the ultimate workings of things. Don’t worry about the HOW -- but do start over in seeing that YOU deserve all the best things – even if people in your past convinced you to think otherwise. Who are they to be your authority anyway?